When we’re struggling with fears or a lack of confidence, juggling a to-do list longer than the list of women pointing the finger at Bill Cosby, or just plain trying to figure out our lives and our next steps in them — who we gonna call? New York City had the hilariously handy Ghostbusters to deal with their goblins, ghosts, and gremlins. The Godfather had his consigliere to advise him when to hit the mattresses.

And Luke Skywalker had Obi-Wan Kanobi to tell him, “Remember, the Force will be with you always.”

The rest of us? We rely on trusted friends, family, coworkers, the barista whose caffeinated beverages keep us moving through ever-more hectic days, the anonymously kind soul who returns our wallet when we leave it behind at the bar scene of one-too-many margaritas. Some of us, including me, work with certified life coaches to untangle our tangled lives or to strategize ourselves to new levels of success and satisfaction.

So, who you gonna call? Whose number do you pull up when you feel like the world is off-kilter in some way or like you can’t take another hour without chomping your way through a sky-high stack of double-stuffed oreos?

When confronted with any situation that causes you stress, your first thought might be to call a friend to complain or reach out to anyone who can sympathize or offer support.

But the first person you should call on whenever you’re going through anything, big or small, will always be the one person who knows you best: you.

You, you, you.

Because while others can offer support in one form or another — whether you’re contemplating a fantastic but slightly scary new opportunity at work, or dealing with a loss of any kind, or just not feeling your usual self — you’re the one who’s still got to go through it. Whatever “it” is.

So, your first move should be to put down the phone and dial in to yourself.

Give yourself the proverbial “count to ten.” Take a five-minute break to walk in the fresh air. Stop and pet a cat or dog, or even a tarantula if that’s your thing. (Studies show that petting a live furry friend can quickly reduce anxiety — the operative word being “live;” pet rocks won’t do the trick here.)

Better yet, sit quietly for a moment (you can even do this in the bathroom stall at work if you have to!), close your eyes, and recall, as vividly and specifically as possible, an experience where you were calm and happy. Hold that memory. Turn it over in your mind’s eye.

Dial in, with as much focus as you can, to the physical sensations of that peaceful moment when all was well. What was the weather like? was the sun warming your skin? were you laughing so hard your belly ached? were you cuddled up, warm, or feeling the spray of ocean water on your face? Just for a moment, focus your being, your consciousness, your body, on the luxuriousness of that memory.

I guarantee, when you open your eyes, your emotional state will be calmer. Your mental state will be clearer. And you’ll feel more compassionate toward yourself and whatever situation you’re in.

Stand up, take a deep, full breath. And, then, if you do decide to call on a friend, a sister, a colleague, or even a Ghostbuster, you’ll be in a better state to receive their wisdom, embrace their support, and accept their affinity for brandishing light sabers in your face.