“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.”
— Henry David Thoreau

I’ve been lost a few times in my life — haven’t we all?

I remember feeling lost when I received a letter from my father letting me know that he would not help me financially with furthering my education after high school, despite the fact that the divorce decree with my mother obligated him to do so.

I felt lost when I found out my best friend had slept with my boyfriend of five+ years — a man I had hoped to marry,

And I felt lost the day many years later when I knew for certain I had to leave my volatile husband.

Lost? Absolutely. But each time I found my way back not just to my “old self,” but each time to a noticeably more resilient, self-aware, and stronger self.

Those periods of our lives when we feel lost are actually tremendous opportunities for much-needed growth. Growth that will crack us open — sometimes painfully, sometimes easily — to self-love, increased compassion for ourselves and others, and most importantly, for uncovering our truest selves.

In my own experience, each instance of feeling lost was the catalyst I needed to find fresh footing, redirect my focus, and follow the path that was uniquely right for me.

My father’s refusal catalyzed my desire to go to college. It took me several years, but I eventually put myself through college by holding down three jobs at once, eventually graduating summa cum laude.

My best friend’s betrayal forced me to finally confront the fact that my boyfriend was not the nice guy I thought he was, and was never going to commit — I (finally!) moved on.

My ex-husband’s temper lit a fire within me to take a critical look inward that propelled me on a journey of growth that has been so revelatory — with many starts and stops and failures but a number of very meaningful successes along the way — that to this day, I am deeply grateful for the profound wake-up call his personality presented.

Sometimes in our lives, we slip so slowly into being lost — whether that’s in a relationship, in a job, in being content with status quo, in our finances, or our physical health — that we don’t even realize it’s happening. We just wake up one day, and think, with astonishment, “Hell, I don’t even recognize myself or my circumstances anymore.”

Has that every happened to you? Is it happening right now in your life?

Many times, the most daunting part of realizing we’re lost is having to face the truth that we went unconscious with ourselves long enough to get ourselves lost. Taking responsibility for where we’re at in life can be unsettling to say the least.

But the gorgeous thing about getting lost is that, each time, we’re presented with the very necessary opportunity to re-find ourselves and grow deeper into our destiny. It’s how we connect with what’s truly meaningful at any given time of our lives. It’s how we learn to love ourselves and others after disappointments. It’s how we discover self-worth and joy, and how we make peace with our past.

And that makes finding ourselves again — and again, and again — our life’s work.

If you’re feeling lost or off-course in any area of your life, consider Thoreau’s words above as an invitation to gain deeper understanding of yourself and the world we live in.

If you’d like any one-on-one help with that process, give me a shout.

Stay safe. Be well.